Lost a friend unknowingly?

Well, i think i lost a friend unknowingly... I know it sounds a bit ridiculous but it's somehow that way. I don't know is it my fault but i think i am in no fault... I know i am contradicting myself but i really don't know how to express. We were all fed up and threw temper at each other but how come it seems like i owe you a living now... I have to admit that i should not have shouted back when you tried to make me less fed up. And until now, i still regret shouting back. But think back, i was so fed up so how would i know whether you were trying to calm me down? Haiz...i have no idea if this unhappiness in this friendship could be resolved but if cannot, what can i do more? Nothing actually. Take it as it is my fault then and all i can say is, "I'm sorry."
Anyway, let's change the topic! Yesterday i had a horrible practical for phsyics. I stood throughout the whole experiment and since it is the light experiment, i had to sort out all my datas into the reoprt and graph in the dark. I didn't bother to use the torch light maybe because i am lazy. Due to that position i was at, my back sore after the whole experiment. Haiz...i really dislike the experiment... And, yesterday, i forgot to bring my house keys to school and i wasn't able to go home so i got to go someone's house for wait until my mum is house. Thankfully, ranice's house is available so i went there. We watched videos on youtube casting 小小彬. At last, we realised that grace is as chubby as him so we decided to call grace, 小小微. Haha! Then, i went home while ranice went for tuition. And yesterday, i realised one very weird and unusual thing that always happened to my chemistry paper. There is always coffee stain on my paper. Last time, i was in Mrs ang band and she marked my scripts and there is also coffee stain. Now, i am in Mr ong band and he marked my script and there is still coffee stain! Really weird. Then, i told xin yu about and guess what she said. She said that maybe whenever mrs ang or mr ong wants to mark my paper, they have the urge of drinking coffee therefore there is stain of coffee. Then, my face was -.- Because it is really weird... To them, does my name notify them that it is time to drink coffee? Weird weird weird. Unusual unusual unusual. Well, today, actually nothing interesting happened except jolyn dropped her small small packet of sticky that is from the open house of Singapore Polytechnic on the way back to class from a maths lesson and i picked it up when i was leaving the class to e maths lesson. When Sher Yun saw, she found it interesting and asked "now, sticky also got sell such a small packet?" But then, i told her that it was from the open house of singapore polytechnic. Then, lunch time, puay suan, ranice and i went to macdonalds. At the end of everything, puay suan dropped her phone. Luckily, there is a kind soul who picked it up and passed it to a staff at the counter. Lucky puay suan. Then, we went home. Tomorrow, there is english oral... So sian... I think i will do badly since my brain isn't functionally normally... Haiz... Thursday, there is english and chinese paper 1. NEED TO STUDY FORMAT! Friday, there is english paper 2 and social studies. Need to go and study and sort of memorise all the facts for social studies. English paper 2...nothing much i can do unless i do lots of practices but it is too late to do now. Well, all the best for myself and to those taking their EOY too!

Singapore Vs China...again

It has been 3 days since i have switched on the computer. Why 3 days? Well, because firstly, friday was the mid-autumn festival celebration in school and by the time i reached home, i have no time to use the computer anymore. Ok, let me talk about that then. On friday morning, there was PE. And it was soccer. I was not excited at all since i was very not interested in soccer. Everytime i play soccer, the ball just does not listen to me. Whenever i kick forward, it goes backwards -.- Initially, jolyn and i were not playing so we were sitting at the side of the street soccer court. Well, i don't know how to describe the place we were sitting so just take it as we were sitting at the side. As the game goes on, suddenly the ball came towards jolyn and my direction. We were so shocked so jolyn moved off while i jumped off from where i was sitting. I think my face was very epic -.- Then, when jolyn and i got to play, i went for the goalkeeper while jolyn was running around. It was like the Singapore Vs China again. My dear scholar friends are really tough and they play hard. Well, as a goalkeeper, my job is to block the ball from scoring but i think i somehow failed my job since i allowed 3 balls to goal... Well, when the scholars were near the goal and the ball was with them, i tried to block it but the horrible thing is somehow, our dear scholar friends imagine so well that they took my leg as the ball. Someone just kicked my leg! OUCH! Very pain ok! Now i understand why soccer players really have to wear high socks. After this kick, my leg was aching but i continued playing. There was a scratch and a patch of blue-black -.- When i was walking, i could feel pain. Darn it! Then, during e maths lesson, qian hui and i were joking with xin yu because xin yu had 3 teeth at the front of her lower jaw. And due to that, we said that xin yu is so special and that's why she is so smart. Haha! Then, 15 minutes before the lesson end, i was called to dental clinic. The dentist did filling for me since i got a hole in my molar. My plan failed... My plan was to skip chinese lesson as i need to go the dental clinic at 12.30pm actually but somehow it was brought forward. So, at last i didn't manage to skip chinese lesson. Then, in the afternoon, there was ssp until 2.30pm! Crazy one. SSP was so long!!! I got so fed up during ssp. It was so freaking boring!!! Since i had ssp, ranice helped me to bring my school bag home. So, after ssp, yu jun and i went to ranice house to meet ranice and alicia. Then, we went to just acia at dhouby ghaut to have dinner. Initially, i wanted to go to sticky but not enough time... Then, we went back to school to celebrate mid-autumn festival. The performance was great and then, we went down to the parade square to play with lantern. There were lame people running around to extinguish the flame in our lantern. And there was this very random person whom i don't know extinguish my flame for nothing. I was so shocked! I don't know him and i have no idea why the hell did he extinguish my flame! Then, ranice and puay suan made use of the lantern and act as a ghost while alicia and i capture it in our phone. And that end our day. Next day, which is saturday, nothing much in fact. I was plainly homeworking and homeworking. So much homework to do man! The next day which is today, i was homeworking again but this time, i went to ranice house. Well, alicia was there too and we were supposed to study but at last, ranice and i did did our homework while alicia just went online shopping... We ordered domino pizza and it was not bad actually. When alicia left, ranice and i were watching the videos on chick & dick by kay kay and paul twohill. Paul twohill was very funny, in the way he talked and he sang the national anthem wrongly which was so embarrassing. He scolded vulgarities which he had no idea what it meant and when kay kay told him that he cursed her whole family to die then, he apologised and knew he said the wrong things. Well, after that i went home, continue homeworking. At last i finished my homework!!! But seriously, i don't have high hopes in my end of year somehow. I got a feeling that i will score badly for my combined humanities. I will also score badly for e maths because my teacher claim that e maths paper is very difficult and a maths...due to my careless mistakes, any bad things may happen. Physics and chemistry, i have no idea since the results of both subjects go up and down and up and down. Chinese...i hope it won't get worst...but instead, IMPROVED and SCORE WITH FLYING COLOURS!!! English, it is there and will also be there. I always find english more difficult than chinese somehow. Geography, i must maintain the standard and must not drop but a lot of things to remember and i think my brain is going to burst! Haiz...studies just make me so so depressed and i am indeed depressed. Anyway, Alonso won the F1 night race in Singapore. Actually, i hope that Hamilton will win since i supported him but too bad he got into an accident with another car so... But nevermind. Now, i should not even care about F1 but should actually concentrate more on my END OF YEAR!!!

Shocked/Stunned/Scary Day

Now is only like 8pm++ but somehow it feels like 9 to 10pm already... Anyway, today is a scary day really scary! I thought i will be in a better mood but it seems like it is nothing better. Today, i just realised that during chinese lesson, i don't really have many people talking to me... For example, in class whenever i am in same band with jolyn, i can crap with her sometimes although sometimes she doesn't seem to hear me. And during other lessons, i can also crap with xin yu with really very crappy stuffs. But chinese lesson, no one to talk to. Everyone is busy working on their work and it is so boring. I think chinese lesson was the main culprit that made me so pissed for today. The weather is so hot and no one to talk to which is so boring. I cannot say that during chinese lesson there is no one talking to me thoroughly but what i mean is like no one can chit chat with me as i let out my grumbles. Sometimes, i really don't like chinese lesson. Firstly, the fengshui of my seat is quite bad i think. It makes me feel sleepy. Next, i have no one to talk to which make me feel so lonely but no matter what, it is too late. Seriously, i now hope that there is no chinese lesson tomorrow and i can go celebration even though exams are coming. Today, i said and did many harsh things purposely. After saying it, i feel guilty but what is said or did cannot be taken back. Well, like what i always say last time, i hope that tomorrow will be better but whenever i said that, it just does not turn out BETTER! Seriously, i am very tired of this stupid mood swing that is way beyond my control... Anyway, i should talk about the scary thing that happen today. After recess, there was a fight... I think it stunned the class when this happened. Puay suan was outside the class but was even more stunned that all of us. She went back to her class and told yu jun that it was very scary. We didn't know much about what is happening but no matter what, it is really very horrifying. There is someone who got injured. Seriously, who will ever expect that such thing will just happen. And it just happened in front of mrs ho. Mrs ho was very more shocked. All her emotions were displayed on her face. Soon, everything ended and lesson resumed. Sometimes, how i hope that there is someone who i can say out everything to. So that i don't have to keep everything to myself. It is very tiring to keep everything to myself. It is like stuffing my heart, suffocating me. And today, when i was taking the bus home, when the bus was about to reach the stop i need to get down from, the bus engine suddenly went crazy. The whole bus just shut down! Well, everyone in the bus were very shocked. The bus driver tried a lot of times to start the engine again and again. I think around 5 to 6 times later, the engine started at last. It was raining heavily and i managed to get down my bus stop. Anyway, today my dad ask me a very random question. He said "Huisi, 1 october is children's day right?" I replied "Yeah". Than he said "Then, that day you don't have school right?" Well, i was a little shocked and i could only show my dad this face -.- and continue saying "I am no more a child how to celebrate children's day?!?!" Haiz...my dad is still living in a world that i am still a child.

Zinc in hydrochloric acid

Today, i am sort of in a bad mood. Don't ask me why because i also don't know why. Maybe it is the once in the month mood swing... I don't like mood swing but somehow it is beyond my control. Today is the mid-autumn festival and it should be the time to eat mooncake but this time, my family did not eat mooncake. Why? Because my parents had no time to go around and shop to buy while i am not allowed to buy as i will buy something that no one wants to eat. So sad but nevermind. Today, my dad wanted to buy last minute snow skin mooncake. But the nearest shopping mall we went had stopped selling snow skin mooncake. What a pity... So at last, i missed the chance of having snow skin mooncake this year. Well, my dad says wait until next year -.- But i have no choice but to actually really wait unless my mum is so kind and of course, there must be some shop selling it. Seriously, i want to make a complain (typical singaporean). Why are guys so insensitive?!?! They like to agitate people at the wrong times. And they are really the zinc solid in hydrochloric acid!!! (Try figuring it out what i mean). Ok, i cannot deny that i am also a zinc solid in hydrochloric acid but some cases i am not! At least, i know how to see whether that person is happy or unhappy and whether should i suan that person or joke on that person. All along, i am a person who do not take jokes but i have been trying to take jokes. But when i am in mood swing/bad mood, i just really can't take jokes! I know that because i am so pissed today by YOU that i said something very harsh which has upset you but seriously, you deserve it! It took you 3 hours to realise that i am pissed! THIS SHOWS THAT YOU ARE REALLY A ZINC SOLID IN HYDROCHLORIC ACID!!! Goodness, today i am just so freaking pissed but i think the description of zinc solid in hydrochloric acid is very cool. This is so chemistry but it was said by a a maths teacher. Well, i must admit, this was just partly of what i am so pissed. Well, another fool in the evening did something foolish. I think she thinks it was just joke and i do not have to take it seriously but come on, i don't take jokes! I know you don't know me well but whatever and shut your foolish jokes from me. YOUR JOKES AIN'T FUNNY BUT FOOLISH! WTH!!! Today there are just so much grumbles!!! Goodness, this is just so pissing me off!!! ZINC IN HYDROCHLORIC ACID!!!!
It has been 2 days since jian nan, jun hao, xin yu and i were playing hangman during lesson time. In total, we played 31 games. Xin yu lead with 13 games. Next is jun hao who won 9 games. Then, it is me who won 5 games. Well, jian nan only won 1 game. There are 3 games that are incomplete. Maybe, we might continue playing for the next few days :)

Yesterday so busy, today quite interesting

Today, there are some interesting things that happened in school. Well, during chinese lesson, zhang lao shi did not call me to read a single poem at all! Yay!!! :) But actually, i have already remembered and memorised everything -.- Next, during e maths lesson, i got crazy and really abnormal. I kept on laughing non stop after since i got a paper cut on my upper lip. It is right at the middle of my upper lips. Somehow, blood keeps on flowing for the whole e maths lesson and i seem to be drinking my own blood. Well, whenever i started laughing, even for a very minor thing, i just went crazy and cannot stop laughing. I seem to be tearing. During e maths lesson, xin yu and i were crapping and i am very sure then that i am really unusual today. Xin yu says that i am possessed by a vampire. Haha! After e maths lesson, it is chemistry lesson. During chemistry lesson, my lip stop bleeding. Really weird. Anyway, jian nan brought a bottle of brewed green tea and it taste horrible because it is really bitter. Well, during chemistry lesson, my water bottle is still left with 1/4 of water and jun hao finished it -.- So, when i was thirsty and wanted water, i then realised that i have no more water so i got to get it from jolyn. Jolyn's water don't taste like boiled water. The worst thing is, after drinking the green tea in jian nan's bottle i nearly puked but when i drink jolyn's water, the combination got even more weird. The cause must be because of jian nan's green tea! After chemistry ssp, alicia and yu jun came in. Yu jun exploded!!! I changed jun hao's texting to standard abc but i forgot to change it back. When he wanted to sms, he had no idea how to function suddenly. Then, i realised that i forgot to change back so i very kindly change back. But yu jun don't know why suddenly shouted at jun hao saying how come he has no idea how to function his own phone?!?!?! And it was really an idiotic question to ask me how to change back! Alicia and i were shocked to see yu jun exploding. Never expect that. Then, we went to lunch. Well, after talking about what happened today, i shall talk about yesterday. Yesterday, grace and i went to audrey's church. Audrey was singing with her youth group. Really nice. Grace very embarrassing again... She wanted to clap after the speech by the pastor (I think it is the pastor but i am not so sure) but, no one claps... Luckily, grace did not clap loudly or else it will be very very embarrassing. Then, there was the baptism service. It was my second time watching the baptism service and it is different from the one that of my first time. Then, after the whole service, we went to enjoy the food available. The food were delicious. The cookies made by audrey's sister was nice! Then, grace, audrey and i went chit chatting. Soon, we left. Then grace and i went to bishan first as i need to go popular to buy some stuffs. Then, we went off to proceed to clarke quay. It took quite a while for us to reach there. When we reached there, it is around 9.30pm and there was nothing much left at the sticky shop. Many were crowding around the area were people were making the sticky. I got a little irritated because these people were blocking my view to see what is available. Soon, i managed to buy what i need. Then, grace and i went to swee choon to have our actual and proper dinner. After eating dinner and traveling home, it was already 11.30pm. It is so late when there is school next day! By the time i bath finished and get onto bed, it was 12.30pm -.- I got some problem waking the next day eventually... And that's all for yesterday. Haiz...tomorrow got chemistry test in the morning!!! Sort of to prepare to die...

Disgusted...

It has been around 8 days since my last post. Not very long compared to puay suan who post only once a month. Yesterday, i received a sms, i got shock out of my guts totally! After continuous discussion, i got even more shock that i nearly fainted. Haiz...this week is terrible. It is so traumatic. Now i have a very bad impression of her... To me, she has an innocent look but in fact, she isn't that at all. She is the betrayer of her friend who confide to her. That is a sad thing but thank goodness, we are not close. Seriously, i am very disgusted. But it is not what the her mention above that made me disgusted but it is the one disclose in the secret that is really disgusting. Super disgusting. I know it sounds very complicated but nevermind. This is post just shows how unhappy i am. Sometimes, i think about it. Why does my friend make me so disgusted? Hello, i am not invisible!!! I am standing there as i see how you talk to him with that disgusting shyness of yours. It is so fake! TOTALLY DISGUSTING!!! I am so disappointed to see how you act when you are in front of him and in front of your friends. It is so disappointing... Anyway, end of year exams are around the corner!!! A maths is a tough challenge. But i shall overcome this challenge! I hope to maintain my result so that i can get the $300 every year. I know i sound like i am a money face but at least i am trying to use my efforts through my studies to sort of like "earn money". Actually, i don't know what to say or write anymore. This is week has been so terrible and traumatic that i really have no idea how to describe my trauma, unhappiness and disappointment. This is most probably why everything is stuff to myself and maybe that's why i feel so terrible.

Haunted Changi

Today, i went out with my parents to popular first than suntec. Before going to popular, we went to eat lunch and i waited for half an hour for our noodles to come. I was so so so freaking hungry!!! I got so fed up waiting for food! Then, i went to popular to buy all 4 books that i want for 弯弯and bought the aries horoscope book for 2011. It also comes with a 弯弯 bookmark. SO CUTE! After that, we went to suntec and went home at 7pm when grace sms me to ask if i want to watch Haunted Changi. Well, i disagree of course since i always disagreed to watch haunted changi as i think i will freak out. However, grace persuade me and then, i agreed to her. We went to AMK Hub to watch Haunted Changi. We bought the tickets and food. This time i bought nachos, no more popcorn. I finished the nachos halfway through the movie. When we sat down and watched the advertisements which is all on horror/ghost movies. Grace and i were quite freaked out that we actually wanted to leave the cinema and don't watch it. Then, when the movie started, the starting was like a flashback. Seriously, at the first half of the movie, there isn't anything scary in fact. I think i am just scaring myself at the starting part. The tension and the more scarier parts are at the back and in fact not all very scary. But all along i am very horrified by horrid/ghost movies so i will definitely freak out. This is something that is expected from myself. However, in the whole cinema, only grace and i were screaming which was extremely embarrassing. Ranice seems to have no feeling when she was watching the movie because she said that the movie quite fake. Grace was pulling my jacket and seriously, it was shocking that she would actually scream because she seems like she not scare. Well, since i expected that i will scream so i think it is normal from me as i always scream or get freak out while watching this kind of movie. After i watched the movie and leave the cinema, my feet turn literally white and somehow it took really quite a while for it to turn back into the correct colour. In the bus, at last, my feet turn back into the correct colour. My feet were cold and white. So scary. Seems like i am badly traumatised. In conclusion, the movie does no really worth the price and if you really want to watch, seriously, you won't expect much unless you are like me who are not scared of anything except for this horrid/ghost movies and is easily freak by horror/ghost movies. I think after eating too much of maggie mee, i having slight diarrhea. Bad bad bad...

I broke my mug

T_T I broke my favourite mug this time. Actually i had visions that i will break favourite mug this few days but i didn't expect it will be today... When it broke, my heart broke too. Don't know why. But this painful feeling didn't last long. At first, i was thinking if i should buy a new one which is exactly the same. I asked alicia who came to my house to make birthday card but at last, she didn't. She said no because waste money. At last, i didn't buy. Then, i told my mum and she said that i deserve it. Ok, i know she was random then. After that, alicia was at my house browsing some videos on my laptop while i was homeworking. Soon, she left. Today, i realised that talking on the phone for 1 hour or so for a consecutive of 3 days, my ear hurts a little. Hope it isn't serious. Anyway, yesterday was puay suan's birthday. Didn't post a happy birthday for her here yesterday but i will wish her happy belated birthday today then. Hope she like the present and the card. HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY!!!
I heard this song on the radio for many many times and i really like the song but i don't know what was the song name but today, after talking on the phone, i found out the song name. It is Billionaire by Travie McCoy Feat. Bruno Mars. What i like about this song is that it is great music rhythm. Although there is a small part of vulgarity, ignore it or find the cleaner version of the song and appreciate the song. It is really nice and it is great! I upload it here so enjoy it!

Eat maggie mee until i want to vomit

I AM SORRY QIAN HUI!!! Today, i am supposed to go out with qian hui but due to some emergency, i cannot go. So sorry qian hui. At home, ate maggie mee for lunch and i nearly vomit. Can't finish my maggie mee at last because i find it too disgusting. I ate maggie mee for like 4 days for lunch. I am just too lazy to even go down and buy lunch and i just continue to eat maggie mee. Thankfully, i didn't have diarrhea like that last time i ate maggie mee for consecutively 1 whole week. Now, i am a bit disgusted by noodles especially maggie mee. This is the same feeling as when i ate 3/4 of the super size popcorn and i got sick that i don't dare to eat popcorn for 1 whole week. Now, i still feel so disgusted. PUKE PUKE PUKE!!! Haiz...still got a lot homework and it is so tiring to do homework sometimes. It gets sick too! Oh gosh...i am getting sick of a lot of things. After 3 days of trying out my new phone, i realise that i cannot send anything to another party by bluetooth but i think maybe i can receive things from another party by bluetooth. And another problem is i cannot check the actual timing of my messages when my phone is switched off. Another problem is whenever i talk on the phone, there is a most likely that i might press the mute button, speaker or end call button. Seems like that is a lot of disadvantages with this phone. But the good thing is that i can download games from android market and i can also text at a faster speed since there is keypad but it seems like my phone battery die out quite fast... Well, i think that anzenchiti has very nice song. Ok...that was random. Anyway, let me talk about yesterday at ranice house. Well, at last cheryl hay, jolyn and yu jun didn't come. Well yesterday, grace, ranice and i went to sheng shiong to meet first to buy ingredients. Then, we went to ranice house to cook spaghetti. We cooked 500g of spaghetti. Initially, ranice and i said that we should not put 500g of spaghetti since we might not be able to finish it. But grace says that she will finish those that we can't finish and we said ok then. Then, we went up and watch robin hood while eating the spaghetti. Grace has the biggest portion and i really have no idea how to she finish it. We left some for ranice maid but then, her maid can't eat it since she is fasting so she has to keep it until dinner and she will heat it up. After that, we went on facebook because jun hao told us to. And we saw so many funny things and laugh out really loud. Soon, grace went home. Ranice and i went to clarke quay to buy sticky at the same time, meet jolyn. When we reached clarke quay, many flavours of the sticky were sold out -.- I didn't manage to buy the watermelon and passionfruit rock, so upset. Then, met jolyn and initially wanted to go swee choon to eat dim sum but then, ranice is meeting her mother at bishan so jolyn went home while ranice and i went to bishan. After meeting her mother and having dinner, i went home and started homeworking again. Haiz...this holiday is just about homeworking. So boring... Now i a little bit hungry but i am worried to eat because i still feel disgusted.

Another truth

I know about the second truth. I was numb when i heard the truth which things clear in my mind. Really clear this time. By repeating it again and again, i might waiver but think through clearly again, i am sure this time round. I don't like truth sometimes but truth is a fact and it is something that cannot be denied. Since i know the truth, all i can do is to accept it. Somehow, i feel that i am affected by the truth. Well, maybe i shall just stop talking about this truth. This truth has hurt so many people. At different perspective, it may hurt even more. Anyway, i got a new phone yesterday and grace is the first to see it since she came to my house today. At last, after grace passed me my history textbook, what did we do? We sat at my house gate and started playing with games downloaded from the android market. We played with the flag quiz and grace very lousy man! The flag repeated so many times yet grace cannot remember and at last she keeps on choosing the wrong flag -.- I think my neighbours think that we are nuisance since we talked quite loudly and laugh quite loudly too. Soon, grace went home. And soon, i started working on my chemistry workbook. Just looking at the homework list make me so sian... I AM STILL LEFT WITH 8 HOMEWORK IN 6 DAYS!!! Oh gosh...homework homework and homework. Awaiting for tomorrow at ranice house! After that, i hope i can go clarke quay to buy sticky. Let me list down the flavours: Lychee Pillows, Scooby Rock, Watermelon Rock, Passionfruit Rock. Oh gosh...am i really going to buy so many of them. Well, i think maybe... But among all these flavours, i have only tried watermelon rock and passionfruit rock. No matter what, i will just see if there is any and buy them!

Pyramid~~~

I LOVE HER VOICE!!! CHARICE PEMPENGCO!!!
LIKE A PYRAMID~~~ OH~~~~

Welcome the holidays

WAKAKAKA!!! IT IS THE SCHOOL HOLIDAYS!!! But actually, there is still a lot of homework. After some calculation, i have a total of 14 sets of homework when it is just a one week holiday -.- Holiday or no holiday? Actually not much difference. This holiday is all about homeworking and revision. Thankfully, i don't have to go back to school for anything. Actually need to go back for competition but i didn't inform the rest of the juniors so i shall wait until school reopen and work on the competition. Anyway, there is kang teng for help so hope it shouldn't be a problem. Yesterday, i received my report book and there is quite an amount of disappointment and some "happiness". And it was the last day for all trainees yesterday. Miss peh very nice, she gave us food and bookmark to bid farewell to us. Actually, she will be back but just no more teaching us because by then, we are secondary4s. Physics trainee left and at last, miss ng is back and there is a little little more hope for the chapter light and optics. Ok, i shall stop talking about trainee and back on my report book. The subjects that i am supposed to do well in, became bad while those subjects which i am weak in turn out to be A1 or A2. Example: I failed my combined humanities during my mid-year and this time, it became A1 shockingly! Both my sciences are always at the B grade but now, it is A grade. I can't believe my physics can get A under the trainee's teaching. Chemistry, happy enough to get A. Geography, there is a drop but still able top maintain at A. Then, what are the subjects i am supposed to work well in yet it became bad? Example: Chinese, IT WAS A TOTAL DISAPPOINTMENT!!! B4!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The last time i got B4 for chinese was secondary 1... So shameful man! A maths, it was a total disappointment to mr ang. I just want a B grade and i am satisfied but i failed so tremendously and i don't know if i can put up my overall result for a maths after my end of year or things will just go worst after my end of year. Haiz...so pressurizing. E maths was another disappointment. From A drop to B because of the stupid maths journal. I will never want to do maths journal anymore! I can never score in my maths journal! STUPID MATHS JOURNAL! English is always a neutral subject and rarely will it shoot up to an A so no comments to that. Yesterday, jun hao and i were discussing with mr ang whether a maths is easier or e maths easier. Well, of course i say that e maths is easier and therefore i can score better in it. Mr ang and jun hao say that a maths is easier therefore it is easier to score -.- 2 vs 1. Then, Mr ang add on and said that people good in e maths tend to score lower for a maths while people good in a maths tend to score lower for e maths. So it is like a vice verse thing. I claim that when doing e maths, formula comes into the mind naturally but when doing a maths, i must think and think for the formula and solve the question which cause me to waste more time. Well, Mr ang recommend me to practise more for my a maths and do not use long long methods and practise i can get rid of the nervousness in a maths examinations. Maybe that's why my e maths is better than a maths... BUT because of the STUPID MATHS JOURNAL my e maths dropped! I am so so so unhappy with that stupid stupid stupid maths journal. Ok, i shall stop talking about stupid maths journal because it spoils my mood. But actually, i have no more to say. All i have to say now is, go do more revision, go do homework.

DEAD!

I am preparing to die for my end-of-year i think. I DON'T UNDERSTAND A SINGLE THING ABOUT TOTAL INTERNAL REFLECTION AND MRS SENG SAYS THAT IT IS VERY IMPORTANT!!! Oh gosh...i don't know how to pass my physics paper. I felt so pissed when someone crap to me on what he/she is stronger at. But nevermind. Challenged me is just a stupid decision made because i will never accept the challenge because to me, studying is not about challenging one another but it is about learning and getting a certificate to help in my future. To me, it is a stupid choice to challenge me. Firstly, i am a dumb dumb in my studies so what for challenge me or even show off to me? Secondly, do you think you are really that smart? Thirdly, why do you bother to challenge me when everyone has their weak and strong subjects or even chapters. Just now, i was working on some of my homework and it was really depressing. When i was working on my a maths, i drew the graph until i nearly went crazy. I remembered that during a maths ssp, i told miss peh that i don't like a maths because it is really difficult to draw the graph and she just smile at me. Haiz...i don't like trigonometric graphs. So troublesome! In fact, i don't really dislike a maths actually but i was just irritated. Then, i went on to chemistry, i realise i need to refer to my notes a lot so i have decided to re-read the whole chapter on metals and then continue working on my homework. Next, physics. It was a total disaster. I have no idea how to do and why is the answer like this. Then, i have decided to seek help from my "shi fu" sitting behind me! Holiday is next week and it is no holiday in fact. It is what i call the week on school-less but with damn a lot of homework to hibernate ourselves. But since, it is holiday, there is still some freedom. I am still having muscle ache after the aces day. Darn it! It has been 2 days yet haven't recover. ARGH! Today when grace and i were chasing after the bus, i was able to run fast because of the muscle ache and it was so painful. ARGH! I don't like muscle ache. It affects my daily life. But it seems like my muscle ache is worth it since our class came in first for aces day. But our class has no idea why we came in first. LOL! Haha! Today, i told zhang lao shi that grace abort her triplets and zhang lao shi was laughing. Then, yu jun, jolyn and i were discussing about the 报章报道读后感 test that will take place during chinese lesson. Yu jun took the test already so she told us the question and we then discussed the points during assembly. We did it in front of zhang lao shi but of course we didn't get scolded and it turns out that jolyn and i benefited. I was left with 15 minutes when i finished the paper. I was slacking and checking my paper until just nice the bell ring. After the test, i went back to class smiling to jolyn and she smiled back. Haha! Today, my eye lid keeps on jumping and yu jun says that something good is going to happen as it is my left lower eye lid. But i don't know what is the good thing.

Thank you!
I feel so much better now.
Although it has over between us, you treat me still like as before.
Thank you!

1 September

It is the 1 september and it is teachers' day! Yay! It is a break for all students and maybe teachers. But somehow, i don't feel like it is a rest day. There are so many homework to work on but some are due after the september holidays. 2 more days of schooling and it will be the september holidays. It is supposed to be a happy thing but i can't be happy afterall. Why is that so? Well, because during this holiday, there will be lots of homework throw towards us so to prepare us for our end of year exams. Suddenly, i feel so tired of studying. Life seem so meaningless when everything is just study study and study. Suddenly, i feel that my brain stopped working and i cannot study anymore or even remember anything. This 3 years seem so short out of the sudden and we are so close to o levels... I don't even have time to read my 弯弯!!! Haiz... Well, i say not continue more on this horrible studying future but let me say something on what happened on the last day of the august 2010. Yesterday's aces day was bad to me. Why? Because the distance is longer than the previous years by quite a lot. Jolyn had band contingent yesterday and therefore she requested for our pair to run first. They said ok and so we went on. As they countdown from 10, something really confusing took place. Here is their countdown: 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, GO! I was stunned at that moment. I was like huh after 4 is go? We didn't start running until zhang lao shi went "GO GO GO!!!" And we ran. Ran passed D&T block, ran passed alicia and grace's class and heard them shouting. When we reached the art gallery, i realised i cannot carry on with the bag on me anymore, so i exchange the bag with jolyn. Jolyn carried the bag and we continued running. When we got back to the area where our class is, i was getting out of breath like i am able to die... Then, we went to sit down and drink some water to rest. Feel like puking but wasn't able to puke out anything. After aces day's running, we went back to class and went to the hall to watch the teachers' day performance. It was a nice performance and i am impressed by the talented people from in my school. After that, our class prepared a cake for our form and co-form teacher. Well, in fact jolyn and i did not eat the cake because jolyn was not feeling well and i don't want to eat cake... Then, we went out where grace, yu jun, puay suan, ranice and sara were. They were actually just outside our class. Ranice took out the container of grace's cookies and we started eating them. Well, it is much better than the last time grace made the cookies. Good improvement! Then, grace went crazy and started zapping people because we called her gorilla again and she kept on carrying her bag and claimed that she was pregnant -.- We called zhang lao shi and told her that grace is pregnant and it is a twins in her tummy. Then, zhang lao shi says that it is not twins but it is triples! HAHA!!! When grace continued to zap ranice, ranice went shouting like crazy and people near the window in my class were a little shocked. HAHA! When grace came to zap me, i ran around shouting for help but no matter what, grace will never spare me. After this, we left school. Then, i have decided to call puay suan GM chimpanzee! Actually, i was supposed to go back to primary school but then, things happened and i was not able to make it back. Sorry to all my primary school friends. Soon, all of us went home and started working on e-learning and homework. Haiz...talking about homework, i am not done when them yet and i need to hand it in tomorrow. Oh gosh... And i really hate nose block! IT IS SUPER DUPER IRRITATING!!!

I feel really horrible terrible.
Help me...
My heart aches badly for some reasons but i really don't know what it is.
For you or not, i don't know.
Somehow i hope it is really you because i really can't find another reason for my heart to ache.
I know this may just be a lie to lie to myself .
But tell me, how can endure to it if i don't do it this way?